Hairy Snotter and the Voldymort's Bone
by AliceCooperultimaterockpenguin
Summary: J.K Roaring or whatever she is called didnt write the story properly. I am going to tell you the brutal and horrifying true story of what happened to Hairy Snotter.
1. The Start of a Horrible Tale

**Hairy Snotter **

When Hairy was a baby his mum and dad asked Madame Dumbledore for the boy's future. Dumbledore told them that he would be the worst student at Frogwarts castle of witchcraft and wizardry there had ever been and ever will be. When Lily and James Snotter, Hairy's parents, heard this they were devastated and then refused to look after him because of the shame of it. They dumped him on the doorstep of Hairy's aunty Petunia and her family's home. They then left to live a happy life without a Hairy Snotter hanging around them all the time.

Hairy grew up to be a strange and annoying boy. One day Hairy recieved an important letter to invite him to Frogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. He hadnt even finished reading it when his cousin Pugsley ripped it from his hands, tearing the envolope in the process.

"Look daddy haiwy has got a letter" Screamed Pugsley  
" Don't be silly", said petunia. " Hairy never gets mail!... Oh! So he has. Read it out loud to all of us then precious"  
After Pugsley had read it out to everyone in his low bellowing voice, a loud knock at the door made everyone jump.


	2. Chapter 2

"Go and get the door please, Puggles!"Pugsley went to get the door and just when she was turning the handle the whole thing fell right on top of her. Aunt Petunia screamed and ran to try and lift the door off of her daughter with her big, fat arms. Once she got her free she turned to look at the person who had kicked the door on top of her little in the doorway was a tall, skinny , ugly, long-nosed woman."Hello", she said, half asleep.

"What is your business here?" asked Hairy. He had tried to sound brave but it had come out in a squeak. He was scared but he felt something else as well as fear. This woman, thought Hairy, is the most beautiful woman in the world." I am here to bring the most stupid boy in the world from this house to save this family from a tragic death."Her voice was bells chiming in Hairy's ears. "You can take me! Please take me!" he course the woman knew exactly who the boy was and so she kept her promise to Dumbledore that said that she had to bring the boy to the torturing chamber of Hogwarts school for the plucking process. Without further ado she took Hairy by his snotty hand and disappeared into the night. Pugsley and Petunia didn't even bother wondering about how what just happened had happened and so the went inside to enjoy a nice big plate of home burnt trifle.

Hairy woke up to find himself lying down and strapped to a slowly turning , wooden wheel. He tried to speak but when he opened his mouth no sound came out. He thought he had lost his toenail because for some strange reason he couldn't speak. Then he heard a voice."Don't worry, Snotter. The dumb dumb potion with wear off in a day or two. And as for the wheel… well, we shall have you off of that once all these tests and treatments have been taken."Hairy looked to where the voice wasn't coming from and wondered why he couldn't see anyone there.. Then he looked in the other direction and he saw the lady he had seen the night before staring down at him. She was wearing plastic gloves and a white science coat. She was carrying a rather large needle which she then stabbed into the boys foot. Hairy looked down at his feet and then realised he had nothing on except a very small cloth tied around his waist, covering certain things of which I wont go into much detail woman then got a wet towel and started running down his body with it. Hairy was wondering what on earth she was doing and the woman could see by the happiness he showed on his face that he was confusuled. "Hairy", she said, " I am Professor Umblebottem. You can call me Umbridge. What I am doing now is rubbing a special cream into your skin to help me with the plucking process. I need to remove every hair from your uncovered skin one by one. This allows you to look your best at all times without being a grizzly bear. You see, appearance is the most important thing in this school and we will not tolerate scruffiness. I will now start the process."She then took a rather large pair of tweezers and continuously plucked the dark green hairs from his legs.


End file.
